Friday, January 21, 2011

Cold January Day

So, there was a woman today that approached me and wanted to thank my husband and I for what we do for others. She was referring to The Compassionate Friends, support group. She shared with me that she lost a baby, at 6 months the 60's. She was living in California and the hospital would not tell her if it was a boy or girl. She began to tear up, she said it's always bothered her that she never knew if she had a son or daughter.

She asked if she could give me a hug, to which I said sure. If a simple hug from me could make someone that I barely know feel better, then I will do it! I told her that she is welcome to come to our meetings, and we would love to hear more about her baby. I discussed with her, that even after all of these years she could give the baby a name. I know people that have miscarried before doctors could tell the gender, use this as a way to give the baby an identity. Now, I have ideas, but not many so I would appreciate suggestions. I have heard before: peanut, star, sprout, jellybean...

This may be a way to give her a little peace, after all this time has passed. We know how it feels when someone, anyone acknowledges our children, it's music to our ears. This poor woman not only has nobody acknowledging her baby now, but when it was born! I could tell she was very angry by how that was handled.

I hope I see her again someday. I would like to tell her that she impacted me, just that few minutes, on a random, cold January day. I will never forget her story.


LetterstoClaire said...

Times have certainly changed with how hospital's handled the death of babies. My uncle was born and died within a matter of days and they recommendations for grieving were massively different back then. There was very much a "move on" attitude, but I'm glad that a lot of the parents are coming forward now and finding ways and people (like you!) to share their grief with and finally have the opportunity to pay tribute to their children's memory.

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