Monday, August 8, 2011


This is a non-River related post, for the most part. I am really only putting it here because I feel super bummed. I was told today that I yelled at someone...which I don't recall doing. For privacy reasons I won't say where this happened, but it's the first complaint in 2 years. Well, that should make me feel good, right?

Why is it that I feel the opposite, I feel crappy? I have tried very hard to be positive, have a smile on my face and make everyone feel welcome and comfortable, so I guess that's why this complaint almost made me cry. Ok, it did make me cry. If you've read my story, you know that River has been gone just over 2 years.

I know I should brush this off and that I am doing the best that I can, but it hurts me to know that I made someone feel uncomfortable enough to say something about it. I guess I'd better work harder at keeping this chin of mine up.



Natasha said...

So sorry you're having a rough day. I always take it hard when people say things that I know aren't true about my actions. I can't even imagine you yelling at anyone!

Sending you lots of hugs!!!

Deanna said...

Thank you, I can't even recall a moment where someone thought I was upset with them... and I don't have a name or date this happened, just the complaint. I try to keep my cool, and leave the heated arguments for outside of social situations. Not only am I bummed, I am confused! Hugs are much appreciated :)

mrsnice777 said...

It all has to do with perception. It may be a problem with the person who complained and not really you. Don't be too hard on yourself! I know in teaching, I've gotten a complaint before that I was mean to a student. For me, recalling that moment, it was just me being me, being real with the student. He eventually got used to my personality. ;-)

Sorry this hurt you so! (((hugz)))

Tiffany said...

((hugs)) i'm so sorry you feel bummed. i'm going to be the mean selfish griever, but even though i know you don't want to ever make anyone feel uncomfortable (and i seriously can't believe that you yelled at least that didn't deserve it ;) ), i'm going to say that i think it's ok if they do feel uncomfortable for a moment. our lives are filled with the discomfort of grief, and it's so hard for us to balance grieving and faking it. sometimes we are just not going to give 100% to making everyone feel ok. and chances are that that person has probably yelled at someone themselves without meaning to (not saying you did), so i think they'll be ok.

Deanna said...

thank you, Jamie & Tiffany. I tried to make sure my "happy face" was on today. your comments helped me see that I need to just let it go and keep doing what I'm doing because after all, one complaint in 2 years really isn't so bad.

Shannon said...

((HUGS))) sorry your having a bad day

Tiffany said...

It's ok to have bad days- we all do! Sometimes our emotions slip out and that's ok too. I think people need to know that everyone's not happy, happy all the time. You have a good heart and I think most people see that!

Deanna said...

Thank you Shannon & Tiffany. Everyone's words have picked me up out of this slump, ready to move forward, yet again. THANK YOU!

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