Monday, April 22, 2013

8 Days Away

So it seems that most of my writing here lately has been around the "big dates." You know, holidays, birthday, remembrance day, etc. This post follows suit. We are 8 days away from our little boy turning 4, that's right four years old. I have a hard time believing that he would be getting ready for preschool, I cannot imagine it. How is that even possible? I think if I search my blog for that statement or the word 'possible' I would probably have a lot of results. It seems I say that a lot.

I just cannot believe that 4 years ago, we were anxiously awaiting his arrival. Wondering if we were having a boy or a girl, would the baby's name be River or Brook? Were we ready? Of course we weren't, I had just gotten clearance to put away the crutches and cam walker a week prior! Nothing was ready! But he was ready two days before his due date and we got to meet our precious little boy.

We wonder to this day if he were really meant to spend the six days with us that he did. He was born with the cord around his neck twice and was not responsive. There was never any indication during labor that he was in distress, but we look back and wonder in awe if the time we did get with him was a true miracle. We feel fortunate that we got to hear him cry and see his beautiful eyes.

The photograph above was taken by a new friend at Faith's Lodge. The Compassionate Friends chapter leaders in our area all gathered there a few weeks ago to learn from each other and collaborate. It was a wonderful time and it was a nice break to remember and share our first born son. We are holding our "River Bear" from Molly Bears or as Asher calls it his "brother bear." I don't know if he understands that his brother's birthday is coming up. We talk about it, but does it really make sense? It sure doesn't to me, so I am not sure that a 3 year old can understand but I know his heart does.

You are always on my mind and in my heart. I am so proud and honored to be your mother. You brought such a gift to the world and I cherish every second that I get to share it. Your love carries on in us and our love for you continues to shine. We miss you every second of every day.

Love you with all of my heart -
xoxoxo Mom


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