Shine, Jesus, Shine

This week at church, Ben and I were honored to be chosen as godparents for the son of one of our closest friend's. Another friend of ours was going to be a godparent as well, although his life was taken in a car accident, so his mother stood in his place. Our pastor (my father-in-law) noted that he could not be with us physically but he was in spirit, as he was with our Heavenly father. After fighting tears through this, we sat down and I noticed that the offering song was "Shine, Jesus, Shine." Seeing this brought me further to tears, as this song was sang at River's Funeral. Another Pastor, sang this toward the end of his service, and it was so beautiful.

This song was chosen for River's service, because River's grandpa said "on the morning River died, in the middle of all the sadness and darkness, there was a part of a song that kept going through my mind that became a prayer. I heard this melody which I found out later was from the hymn "Shine, Jesus, Shine," and my prayer became flow, Spirit, flow bring in us a comfort, flow, river, flow."

Hearing it this Sunday was the first time I had heard it since that day, May 9, 2009. I felt like I was back in that moment, wondering how this could be happening, how I was going to spend my first Mother's Day without my son? How was I going to keep moving, without him to hold? How was I going to get through his first Christmas, his first birthday? I couldn't even think beyond the "firsts."

Now I have spent 2 Mother's Days, Christmases, and almost 2 birthdays without him on earth, but I have realized that he does flow through us, his parents and family in everything we do. When the tears began to pour out, his baby brother, Asher leaned over out of Daddy's arms and took hold of my shoulder, hugging us both. I know that River too, does shine on us. We will make sure that his life with us continues to flow and shine bright even though we are not able to hold him in our arms, we will carry him in our hearts forever.

The lyrics are played in this video: